The team played a great game tonight. Solid first half, but slackened a tad in the second half, which resulted in us losing 3-4. Nevertheless, I’m glad the blokes in my team are not crumblers like some of the others. Integrity buys respect.
Half a smoke and 100ks on the fast lane all the way home. Car ran smooth as butter and had its healthy growl on. Couldn’t ask for more.
Now now now, 5 hours of massaging sweaty thighs and calves followed by 3 hours of EPA revision on Sunday, an 8-5 day of back-to-back lectures yesterday, EPA peer ospe today, Neuro e-test on Friday, and the Neuro assignment and Back education program on the horizon, not to mention work after uni tomorrow and another 5 hours of sweaty thighs and calves on Sat, is certainly a sign that the pace is picking up. Lots of readings, and revision, and study questions, and Musc & Neuro practice to get through. And work. And God’s word.
On the upside, things are beginning to pick up again between me and Ben/Joe/Soo, which is a great relief in times like these. Friends; nothing can take the place of a good bunch of friends whom I know I can count on, not just for support and good company, but for counsel when it is most required. Last Friday, I was so close to letting this principle slip out from right under me. I shall not let it happen again.
"In certain reincarnations, we divide into two. Our souls divide as do crystals and stars, cells and plants. Our soul divides in two, and those new souls are in turn transformed into two and so, within a few generations, we are scattered over a large part of Earth. We form part of what the alchemists call the Anima mundi,the Soul of the World. The truth is that if the Anima mundi were merely to keep dividing, it would keep growing, but it would also become gradually weaker. That is why, as well as dividing into two, we also find ourselves. And that process of finding ourselves is called Love. Because when a soul divides, it always divides into a male and a female part. That’s how the Book of Genesis explains it: the soul of Adam was split in two, and Eve was born out of him.”
Recently, I haven’t been completely honest with a few people, and certain words have found their way off my tongue, coaxed out by the headiness of impulsive company, a bit of drink, and the dangerous desire to fit in. Full disclosure among my closest mates has also seemed to have shrunk its head back slightly into the shell of my yesteryear. I’m letting myself drift with the easy breeze, and that’s dangerous. Time to get my feet planted back into the ground.
Anwen, Friday. That’s it. Nothing before that; I don’t want to jump ahead of myself, do I? My place, if everything goes well.
Dad hasn’t gotten back to me on my email. I’m looking forward to his reply and what wise words he will enclose within.
Partnered up with Rosie today for neuro and we went along quite fine. In fact, I think I like working with her. Efficient and to the point, yet comfy. Which affirms my acknowledgment of the necessity to step out of my comfort zone. Keeping a measured cool, of course, is an essential part of the equation.
Which brings me to the biggest misunderstanding of 2010 - coming across as arrogant and a jackass by laughing at Jas a decibel too loud and a 10 secs too long when she did an ankle mob wrongly. Of course I wasn’t laughing at her mistake per se, but at how unknowingly cute she was. But such is communication; it can be a bitch at times. Thus, Social Etiquette Lesson 1 of 2010: Don’t laugh at people when they make a mistake, no matter what, or how innocuous, your reason is. Especially if you are not on a nickname basis with that person. Got to iron that out with Jas somehow.
My mind has been swimming in the lost waters of Japan for the last two days (pun not intended, in lieu of the latest flooding in Sendai), and my efforts to shake myself out of it is weak at best. Not a good sign. The semester has barely begun and I’m already beginning to crave a getaway. Not good at all. You can do better than this, my friend.
Anwen. Ben. He wants something, but I think she’s not taking the line.
Studied together with her last Fri, and it went better than I expected. But the thing that swung me over was that look she gave me just before I left. Those eyes, that expression, what did it mean? Did she want me to stay? Was she waiting for me to say something? Or do something?
I hugged onto that moment the whole night, and it kept my insides burning. What does it all mean? We’ll see.
On Sunday night, Ky and Steph asked if I wanted to go over for a threesome. I said no thanks, I’m not interested.
I was proud of myself, not so much for saying no, but for meaning it.
They ended up coming over, but nothing happened, I held my ground. I think I have God to thank for that. That being said, Ky was wearing a mini black dress and help it or not, I caught a few glimpses of her knickers and her behind, and maaan, her ass was just the right amount of hot. A year ago, and my hand would have gone straight onto that ass and the night would have quite certainly ended differently.
I’m not sure what to feel for Cal. To a lesser degree, he is a friend, and I don’t want him to be coming away with the shorter end of the stick, but he doesn’t seem to be very serious about anything anyway, so I guess that makes it fair for both of them. He said he has done her, and she said he has not gone past 3rd base. I’m not sure who to believe or what to think, but either way, it doesn’t concern me.
She’s a wild one. She said I’m like Saif. Adventurous because we’re mysterious. Am I really? Nevertheless, I said, “Well, but you know we’re the worst kind of guys (to be with).” She agreed and said that if she stuck a picture of Saif on my face, she’d stab me right in my face.
Steph asked me what I had to say to her after not seeing each other for 5 months. I told her that she should get her life together. The guys hi5-ed me for that when I mentioned it yesterday at Ivan’s birthday barbeque. That wasn’t my intention at all; I truly meant it. I still care for her and want her to be happy, but from the looks of it, she’s crashing and burning. Hard. At this rate, she will be (if she has not already been) scraping bottom on a constant basis. And it hurts me to see her in this state. But she doesn’t see where I’m coming from.
Not that my life is a cruise on the river with winds permanently in my favour (otherwise this tumblr wouldn’t exist, would it?), but at least I think I’m on the right track. At the very least, my up-days are slowly out-nudging my down-days, and that’s more than I can ask for, for now.
Will I look back at this a year from now and shake my head in bewilderment/disappointment/disbelief? But for now, the wind seems to be on my back, and I hope it will remain this way.